24 August 2014

New Beginnings

So...I am on a journey...one that I am telling myself is an adventure to new and better things...I am doing my best to stay positive. I'll be glad when they get me on a treatment plan and I am feeling more like a normal person. It will be wonderful when this incision is totally healed and I no longer have to have my neck and face bandaged and no worry of the wound getting infected - I'm getting there.

After surgery - my face so swollen.

Yesterday, I felt well enough to make a batch of banana nut muffins. The doctors are wanting me to gain some weight. Not so easy to do when you don't feel like eating, and, I don't know if it's all the meds I have been taking or what, but nothing taste really great. Healing is in the process. I will be better than what I was, it will happen. 


1/2 cup butter or margarine
1 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 teas. vanilla
3 bananas, mashed
2 cups flour
1 teas. baking soda
1/2 teas. salt
1/2 cup nuts

Cream together margarine, sugar, eggs, and vanilla. Mix flour, soda, and salt. Add 1/2 flour mixture to creamed mixture and mix. Next add 1/2 bananas and mix. Then add last half of flour mixture, mix, and add last half of bananas and mix. Add nuts. Bake in lightly floured bread or muffin pans in 350 degree oven until toothpick comes out clean. Best if not over-baked.

Note: I sometimes add coconut, cinnamon and nutmeg.

18 August 2014

We are capable of creating wonders

This has been a quiet weekend, better than last weekend when I was still in the hospital. My strength is weak and I have a hard time doing anything, even cleaning the kitchen or doing laundry. No fear, it will be there when my strength has returned.

I had a couple of panic attacks this weekend. Never really dealt with them in this way, got panicky at times sure, but nothing like this. The thought of all that is ahead of me feels so overwhelming. Plus, I have no feeling on or around my ear. Just the thought of changing the bandage throws me into panic. It's weird how there can be no feeling, yet, it is the strangest sensation when you touch it. I am praying and believing this will start healing once the wound starts closing up more. However, they told me it could be a long time before the feeling comes back.

I want all the testing done and everything to be ok, to start the medication for the autoimmune syndrome.

Sleeping on my left side only is annoying, and my left ear and  hip are starting to hurt from laying on it for such a long time.

I keep trying to think of a young anesthesiologist who I am sure was an angel sent from heaven. He held my hand the entire time after I was taken to surgery until I left recovery. He had an angelic face, and the most calming presence. I have actually thought of him when I have had the panic attacks and just thinking of his voice, face, and the touch of his hand is calming to me. I am so thankful for the wonderful staff who was present for me during a very difficult time.

I am so ready for healing and feeling normal again. To have energy to feel alive will be an awesome feeling.

Loving this quote so much.

16 August 2014

Feeling Thankful and Grateful

The drains were removed from my face yesterday. I am in the healing mode... and believing the healing is accelerated.

My gratitude for the wonderful care I received at Truman Medical Center is not measurable. It is one of the best hospitals in Missouri and the country as far as I'm concerned. Not only that, the doctors are so darn good looking, pure eye candy. :)

I'm feeling stronger !

Trying not to overdue it - my house needs cleaned so badly. I am telling myself that it is ok, that I do not have be concerned with the dirt right now.

Wow, hard to believe this summer is coming to an end soon.

I am looking forward to feeling and being well, ready to get back to work making things. I have dreams of getting into making things and selling them.

photo by spbm

My healing room for a week and half. 

14 August 2014

Believing for a miracle.

I have been in the hospital the past week and half. I had a problem that sent me to the emergency room and ended up having surgery.  They have diagnosed me with Sjorgren's Syndrome. I know they say this has invaded my body, but I refuse to allow it to stay in my body. I am claiming and believing for a complete healing. 

I had put off going to the doctor for years because I do not have insurance. 

It is my intention to make good things come from this. 
It is my intention to be well and whole.

I am planning to start a journal of my journey to healing, maybe even a blog.

Doing a lot of meditation right now. It is my belief the body can heal itself, I plan to do just that!

I hope this finds everyone doing well.

All prayers and good thoughts are appreciated so much!

05 August 2014


Working on this these days...

12 July 2014

Strawberry Freezer Jam

Strawberries were on sale today, which made me happy. I've been wanting to make freezer jam but had not been able to find the instant pectin. When I finally found it at Target, the strawberries were not on sale any longer. I took the chance and waited to see if they would go back on sale, they did. 

I made five pints tonight, still have enough berries to make another 10 pints tomorrow - after I make a trip to the store and get more sugar. This is so easy to make, it is no big deal to make up the rest tomorrow. 

Freezer jam is so much better than cooked, in my opinion. I like the way it taste like fresh strawberries. Freezer jam is also much easier to make than the cooked. 

I used the recipe that came with the Ball Instant Pectin:

1 2/3 cup prepared fruit (washed, hulled and mashed. )
2/3 cup sugar
2 tbls. instant pectin
1 tbls. bottled lemon juice if using peaches (I don't know why you could not use juice from a lemon, but it does specify "bottled".

Mix sugar and pectin together, stir in prepared fruit and stir for three minutes. Pour into sterilized jars. Let set 30 minutes before putting in freezer.

Note: leave 1/2" space at top of jar to allow for expansion.

This stuff is good on just about anything. So yummy on angel food cake and ice cream.

20 June 2014

Simple Things

Tomato sandwich was a staple for me growing up. My dad grew the best tomatoes in the whole world and making a tomato sandwich was a daily event. 

I have been craving a tomato sandwich. Yesterday I drove across town in search of a homegrown tomato. I'm not convinced the one I bought was homegrown, just did not have that homegrown taste. The tomato was good, though. We do not eat white bread and could not bring myself to buy a loaf, and I looked at the loaves of white bread for quite sometime. I did give in and buy a jar of miracle whip, mayo doesn't give it the same flavor, that little bit of tangy bite to miracle whip is needed. 

So, I have had three tomato sandwiches since last night. I'm sure I am going to satisfy that craving within two days.

Sometimes simple makes a very big impact - a tomato sandwich in the summer does just that. 

14 June 2014

Week in June

Another crazy summer ! I had high hopes of having a summer with no hospitals involved, not to be. David had eye surgery this week. The surgery itself went ok, but when we went back yesterday, the contact they had put in after surgery to protect the eye had come off, meaning new damage to the eye. The doctor increased his antibiotic eye drops to the strongest dosage. Hopefully it will heal and there will be no additional damage. It is the only eye he can see out of, without the vision in that eye, he will not be able to see at all.

I'll be doing some long meditating this weekend, trying to get myself back to feeling like I am not going to fall to pieces. The need to feel focused is most needed right now. My mind and body feels like a jigsaw puzzle that have far too many missing pieces, and the pieces that are, are all the wrong pieces. 

On a different note, I made this great salad last night. I found the recipe on Half Baked Harvest. This is easy and healthy. I used three ears of corn, one red pepper, and one jalapeno pepper, only because I'm cooking for two. Still made a lot, but we made a meal with this since it had quinoa, it was packed with protein. Still plenty to have this evening with dinner. 

Photos by spbm