02 October 2014

Completed Projects

I'm trying to stay busy and keep my mind occupied with good thoughts. I want to get my Etsy handmade shop going in order to supplement income. It always seems to take a long time to get a new shop going. :(

Little A. has a birthday day coming up this month and I've been busy making some things I think she will like. Made her a couple of aprons, headbands/wraps, crocheted a slouchy hat for her, made a tooth fairy monster for our little E., who is just about to lose his first tooth, and made an Anthropologie style apron for my daughter. So many things to make...need more time in each day. If only I did not need to sleep, oh the things I could get done.

Here are some of the things I have made:

 Photos by spbm

One of the reversible aprons for A.

Photo by spbm

Head wrap for little A. These things are just fabulous. Will be making some and putting them in my Etsy shop.

 photo by spbm

Crochet Slouchy Hat for little A.

photo by spbm

The Tooth Fairy Monster for little E.. My design.

                            photo by spbm

Another reversible apron for little A.
I will be making some of these and putting them in my Etsy shop. Leave a message if you are interested in one, or in anything else I have posted. Would be so happy to make something custom for you.

photo by spbm

Anthropologie style apron I made for my daughter. Yep, I will be making more of these to put in my Etsy shop.

photo by spbm

Apron for little E. I made this one from ticking and a red bandanna.

Thanks for looking.

Wishing and hoping for a beautiful weekend ahead for all.

13 September 2014

Sauerkraut Cabbage Roll Soup

Trying to get back into cooking, a little hard to do some times since I can all at once, without warning need to hit the sofa. I am feeling stronger for the most part, have even walked to the store twice. Still lots of test coming up, so not looking forward to them. The swelling in my face has gone down a little more, will be so happy when it is gone. the swelling makes it hard to sleep, it hurts if I lay anywhere close to that side of my face, and, my left side is getting very sore from having to lay on it non stop for the past six weeks. 

Yesterday I made a Sauerkraut Cabbage Roll Soup from Closet Cooking and it was DELICIOUS!!!

I'll definitely be making this again this fall and winter. The only thing I will do differently is not add the sauerkraut juice, we eat a low sodium diet and that made it taste really salty to us, but I find it hard to eat out because food taste over salty.

I was able to find a raw sauerkraut that tasted exactly like what my mom and I used to make when I was growing up. I did use brown rice, but will also try it with quinoa. I will also try it using cabbage instead of kraut.

Wishing everyone a wonderful Sunday!

02 September 2014

Finding Me

Photo by spbm

Finding me.

The past few years I have been so busy taking care of someone else that I have been gradually fading and withering into non existence.  So absorbed in taking care of someone that I could no longer think of myself in any way – it felt selfish to think of myself. While I made sure David ate properly, took meds, was treated daily, checked blood glucose anywhere from four to 10 times a day, (depending on what else was going on with him as to how many checks were done), doctor appointments almost on a daily basis, sitting through many surgeries and hospital stays, my existence seemed important only to take care of him. Caring for myself was not on the radar.

I did not see it until today; I had faded into non existence
There was a time when I was so excited about everything in life - I loved/love nature, fashion, décor, exercising, cooking, creating…all those and more have been put on hold. I used to write beautiful and moving poetry, not a word for the past five years. Listening to classical or beautiful music could move me to tears. There are moments now and then when things do, but not in the majestic and magical way they used to.

There is no doubt in my mind that I allowed this immune disease to move in and take up residence in my body. Too much thinking and wondering if everything I was experiencing was all there was to my life... too many thoughts of “no purpose and no identity” invaded my mind and soul – allowing this disease. If nothing else, my surgery, hospital stay, and recovery has been a wakeup call. I am thankful!

It’s strange, it really is, but I feel good about things today. I feel alive and very excited for the first time in a very long time.

I am hopeful this is not a momentarily euphoria. 

24 August 2014

New Beginnings

So...I am on a journey...one that I am telling myself is an adventure to new and better things...I am doing my best to stay positive. I'll be glad when they get me on a treatment plan and I am feeling more like a normal person. It will be wonderful when this incision is totally healed and I no longer have to have my neck and face bandaged and no worry of the wound getting infected - I'm getting there.

After surgery - my face so swollen.

Yesterday, I felt well enough to make a batch of banana nut muffins. The doctors are wanting me to gain some weight. Not so easy to do when you don't feel like eating, and, I don't know if it's all the meds I have been taking or what, but nothing taste really great. Healing is in the process. I will be better than what I was, it will happen. 


1/2 cup butter or margarine
1 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 teas. vanilla
3 bananas, mashed
2 cups flour
1 teas. baking soda
1/2 teas. salt
1/2 cup nuts

Cream together margarine, sugar, eggs, and vanilla. Mix flour, soda, and salt. Add 1/2 flour mixture to creamed mixture and mix. Next add 1/2 bananas and mix. Then add last half of flour mixture, mix, and add last half of bananas and mix. Add nuts. Bake in lightly floured bread or muffin pans in 350 degree oven until toothpick comes out clean. Best if not over-baked.

Note: I sometimes add coconut, cinnamon and nutmeg.

18 August 2014

We are capable of creating wonders

This has been a quiet weekend, better than last weekend when I was still in the hospital. My strength is weak and I have a hard time doing anything, even cleaning the kitchen or doing laundry. No fear, it will be there when my strength has returned.

I had a couple of panic attacks this weekend. Never really dealt with them in this way, got panicky at times sure, but nothing like this. The thought of all that is ahead of me feels so overwhelming. Plus, I have no feeling on or around my ear. Just the thought of changing the bandage throws me into panic. It's weird how there can be no feeling, yet, it is the strangest sensation when you touch it. I am praying and believing this will start healing once the wound starts closing up more. However, they told me it could be a long time before the feeling comes back.

I want all the testing done and everything to be ok, to start the medication for the autoimmune syndrome.

Sleeping on my left side only is annoying, and my left ear and  hip are starting to hurt from laying on it for such a long time.

I keep trying to think of a young anesthesiologist who I am sure was an angel sent from heaven. He held my hand the entire time after I was taken to surgery until I left recovery. He had an angelic face, and the most calming presence. I have actually thought of him when I have had the panic attacks and just thinking of his voice, face, and the touch of his hand is calming to me. I am so thankful for the wonderful staff who was present for me during a very difficult time.

I am so ready for healing and feeling normal again. To have energy to feel alive will be an awesome feeling.

Loving this quote so much.

16 August 2014

Feeling Thankful and Grateful

The drains were removed from my face yesterday. I am in the healing mode... and believing the healing is accelerated.

My gratitude for the wonderful care I received at Truman Medical Center is not measurable. It is one of the best hospitals in Missouri and the country as far as I'm concerned. Not only that, the doctors are so darn good looking, pure eye candy. :)

I'm feeling stronger !

Trying not to overdue it - my house needs cleaned so badly. I am telling myself that it is ok, that I do not have be concerned with the dirt right now.

Wow, hard to believe this summer is coming to an end soon.

I am looking forward to feeling and being well, ready to get back to work making things. I have dreams of getting into making things and selling them.

photo by spbm

My healing room for a week and half. 

14 August 2014

Believing for a miracle.

I have been in the hospital the past week and half. I had a problem that sent me to the emergency room and ended up having surgery.  They have diagnosed me with Sjorgren's Syndrome. I know they say this has invaded my body, but I refuse to allow it to stay in my body. I am claiming and believing for a complete healing. 

I had put off going to the doctor for years because I do not have insurance. 

It is my intention to make good things come from this. 
It is my intention to be well and whole.

I am planning to start a journal of my journey to healing, maybe even a blog.

Doing a lot of meditation right now. It is my belief the body can heal itself, I plan to do just that!

I hope this finds everyone doing well.

All prayers and good thoughts are appreciated so much!

05 August 2014


Working on this these days...